193.2

Have you ever noticed those bumper stickers on the back of people's cars that say things like 3.1, 13.2 or 26.4?  For awhile I didn't know what those meant.  Now I'm aware that people who have those bumper stickers on their cars have run a 5K, half or full marathon, and those numbers represent how far they ran in miles.  This past week has been monumental in my weight loss journey.  It seemed like every day last week I either lost a significant amount or maintained my current weight.  The climax happened yesterday when I reached my goal of 193 lbs!  Well, 193.2 to be exact, but it's close enough for me and I'll take it (and run with it...literally).  I immediately thought of those running race bumper stickers and figured I needed one that said 193.2 to advertise my accomplishment.  Then I quickly came to the conclusion that while this is a huge accomplishment for me, it's probably not something I want to advertise on the back of my minivan.  In addition, I actually have to be down to 190, so I'm not done yet.  But the representative at the reproductive assistance company I'm going through to be a carrier told me that once I get 3 pounds away to let her know and we can continue the process.  So as soon as I weighed myself I emailed her to let her know.  Of course, she doesn't really work on the weekends, but she did respond to let me know she would contact me on Monday. 

Last night I attended a social get together for my adult Life Group through my church.  It was so fun and there was tons of delicious food.  To celebrate my weight loss victory, what did I do?  Eat, of course!  (It seemed rational at the time, but writing it down  makes it seem very wrong).  I didn't count a single calorie.  Even though I still have a few pounds to go, I rationalized that it's good to have a "cheat" day from time to time, but I fully realize it can only be an occasional thing and I must get right back on the proverbial weight loss wagon immediately.  Let me just state, for the record, that, although I did not specifically count every calorie I put in my mouth, I don't feel as though I went totally crazy.  For one thing, now that I am 30 lbs lighter, I honestly can't eat as much as I used to.  I know my stomach has shrunk some because it seems to take a lot less to make me feel full.  In addition, since I've been counting calories for the past 4 1/2 months, I pretty much know what a serving size and calorie count is of most any food.  I ate one plate of food, which was mostly made up of a very yummy salad, and I had a scoop of the most delicious banana pudding I've ever eaten.  This little jaunt down eat-whatever-you-like-lane resulted in a 2.6 lb weight GAIN when I woke up this morning.  WHAT?  The one pattern I have noticed about my body when it comes to weight loss is once I've achieved a certain weight, even if I have a set back it doesn't usually take long to get back to that if I keep doing what I know to do.  Here's hoping!       

In other news, I've reached new heights on the running front too.  On Friday, Paula and I ran at least a mile and a half...without stopping...and without dying.  Seriously?  A mile and a half?  Me?  If I wasn't there I wouldn't believe it either.  We usually run at this awesome local park called Voice Of America.  It's beautiful!  There's a really pretty lake (or maybe it's a pond -- I don't know) with a running/walking path around it.  There are ducks and trees.  The landscape is very ideal for running, but it all looks about the same the whole way around.  We know the running path around the lake is 1.4 miles.  We start our run with a 5 minute warm up walk.  Then when the app tells us to run, we run until it tells us to stop.  Because we just started running when we were told, we didn't pay super close attention to at what point on the path we actually started running.  We know about where we were and we're confident we ran all the way around once and went a little past where we started running. 

I am starting to get the feeling that runners are made, not born.  Although I still don't love it, in some strange way I do look forward to it.  And I am starting to feel that I might miss it if I stop, or at least wish I was still doing it if I didn't do it anymore.  Weird!

We'll see what this week brings... 

Is It Worth It?

So I'm still running.  Once again, no one is more shocked about this than me.  Tomorrow I will finish week 5 of the 9 week Couch To 5K.  I've faithfully (even on vacation) run 3 times a week for the past 5 weeks.  Yesterday the C25K app took us to a new level -- we ran 8 whole minutes...in a row...twice!  This doesn't sound like a lot, and to anyone who is a runner, it really isn't.  But to me I felt like I had given birth to a new child or completed some amazing super-human feat.  It wasn't even that bad.  I realized during my time spent running yesterday that I'm actually getting better.  I'm not as out of breath and it doesn't take me nearly as long to recover when I stop running as it used to.  However, my knees, ankles and feet hurt the whole time as I am running.  I finally broke down and bought some real running shoes today.  This was inevitable, and I've been warning Scott for weeks that it needed to happen.  I haven't bought new tennis shoes since before I birthed my 1st child (who is almost 6 1/2).  The shoes I've been running in are not only old, but they're the best Target had to offer when I bought them.  They've been great tennis shoes and, for the most part, are very comfortable, but not really meant to run in.  We'll see if new, proper shoes add any assistance to the cause.  Tomorrow we're supposed to run for 20 minutes...without stopping.  Seriously?  We'll see how it goes, but I'm kind of up for the challenge and anxious to see if I can do it.  On the C25K app, when you finish a run it asks you if you want to log in through Facebook and share the results of your run there.  I'm always so tempted to do this because I'm so stinkin' proud of myself, but I never do because I realize no one else probably cares that I ran 16 minutes yesterday. 

On another, related note, I'm still hanging tough at anywhere between 197-199 lbs.  I have seen 197 lbs twice, but it was fleeting.  It would be so easy to be discouraged.  I really thought when I started running and consistently exercising that these last few pounds would fly off me.  I feel like I'm doing everything right.  I count my calories every day, watch portion sizes, don't snack, try to make healthy choices, and I work out 7 days a week (if I don't run, I do the eliptical for 30 minutes).  Believe me, I have to work hard not to let myself become totally discouraged.  I'm sure if I was just doing this for myself, I would totally convince myself that just barely under 200 lbs is good enough and I can live with that.  In reality, that's exactly how I feel.  But I have a bigger goal to achieve.  On the days I've been 197 lbs I only have 4 pounds to go before I can continue to move forward with the process to becoming a gestational carrier.  I've come so far and the end is in sight!  That really isn't that much, but as most people find when trying to lose weight, the last little bit seems to be the hardest.  I have created this fantasy in my mind that the couple who God has chosen for me to carry for is not ready yet, or there is some hold up on their end.  That's why these last few pounds won't come off.  It's God's way of not allowing me to get linked up with the wrong people.  I pray for the couple I will carry for so often.  They are heavy on my heart.  I know God has placed this on my heart and has, and continues to, prepare me to do this.  I just have to keep doing what I'm doing.  When His timing is right, that 4 (or 6) lbs will melt off.