Is It Worth It?

So I'm still running.  Once again, no one is more shocked about this than me.  Tomorrow I will finish week 5 of the 9 week Couch To 5K.  I've faithfully (even on vacation) run 3 times a week for the past 5 weeks.  Yesterday the C25K app took us to a new level -- we ran 8 whole minutes...in a row...twice!  This doesn't sound like a lot, and to anyone who is a runner, it really isn't.  But to me I felt like I had given birth to a new child or completed some amazing super-human feat.  It wasn't even that bad.  I realized during my time spent running yesterday that I'm actually getting better.  I'm not as out of breath and it doesn't take me nearly as long to recover when I stop running as it used to.  However, my knees, ankles and feet hurt the whole time as I am running.  I finally broke down and bought some real running shoes today.  This was inevitable, and I've been warning Scott for weeks that it needed to happen.  I haven't bought new tennis shoes since before I birthed my 1st child (who is almost 6 1/2).  The shoes I've been running in are not only old, but they're the best Target had to offer when I bought them.  They've been great tennis shoes and, for the most part, are very comfortable, but not really meant to run in.  We'll see if new, proper shoes add any assistance to the cause.  Tomorrow we're supposed to run for 20 minutes...without stopping.  Seriously?  We'll see how it goes, but I'm kind of up for the challenge and anxious to see if I can do it.  On the C25K app, when you finish a run it asks you if you want to log in through Facebook and share the results of your run there.  I'm always so tempted to do this because I'm so stinkin' proud of myself, but I never do because I realize no one else probably cares that I ran 16 minutes yesterday. 

On another, related note, I'm still hanging tough at anywhere between 197-199 lbs.  I have seen 197 lbs twice, but it was fleeting.  It would be so easy to be discouraged.  I really thought when I started running and consistently exercising that these last few pounds would fly off me.  I feel like I'm doing everything right.  I count my calories every day, watch portion sizes, don't snack, try to make healthy choices, and I work out 7 days a week (if I don't run, I do the eliptical for 30 minutes).  Believe me, I have to work hard not to let myself become totally discouraged.  I'm sure if I was just doing this for myself, I would totally convince myself that just barely under 200 lbs is good enough and I can live with that.  In reality, that's exactly how I feel.  But I have a bigger goal to achieve.  On the days I've been 197 lbs I only have 4 pounds to go before I can continue to move forward with the process to becoming a gestational carrier.  I've come so far and the end is in sight!  That really isn't that much, but as most people find when trying to lose weight, the last little bit seems to be the hardest.  I have created this fantasy in my mind that the couple who God has chosen for me to carry for is not ready yet, or there is some hold up on their end.  That's why these last few pounds won't come off.  It's God's way of not allowing me to get linked up with the wrong people.  I pray for the couple I will carry for so often.  They are heavy on my heart.  I know God has placed this on my heart and has, and continues to, prepare me to do this.  I just have to keep doing what I'm doing.  When His timing is right, that 4 (or 6) lbs will melt off.